See? The word above? That's the title for this drawing. Actually I make it little different with the original one. I modifiy some parts in this drawing included the title.
I make this drawing after I see so much feelings of love one sided. For the 1st time, the title is "I KNOW" I just want to describe how actually girls know everyting about the one they love included the fact that they are not loved by boy that they love. Then, the title turns into "HOPELESS" why? After girls know the fact that they are not loved boy boy that they love, the next feeling that might be come out is "HOPELESS". We feel so hopeless when we can do nothing for pursuing our love story. Just remember, though maybe we will feel so hopeless, but it doesn't mean that the we cannot change the situation. What we have to do? Still keep trying and remember to always positive thinking. And the most important is "SWEET SMILE" We never know when the true love comes right? Jaa, Ganbatte!!!\(^0^)/
Waktu menunjukkan jam 12 malam lewat 5 menit, tanda pergantian hari baru dimulai. Suasana malam yang dingin dan sunyi membuat dentingan jam dinding terdengar jelas di ruangan yang remang-remang dan senyap itu. Di sudut ruangan itu, terdapat sesosok gadis yang terduduk lemas di atas tempat tidur, Ia menekuk lututnya, wajahnya terbenam diantara kedua lutut dan lipatan tangannya.
Sesekali Ia mengangkat wajahnya, memerhatikan sekeliling kamar yang kurang pencahayaannya itu dari sudut yang satu ke sudut yang lainnya. Berantakan. Pikir gadis itu kemudian kembali membenamkan wajahnya diantara kedua lutut dan lipatan tangannya.
“berantakan sama seperti diriku” umpatnya lesu.
Kemudian Ia mengangkat wajahnya kembali, kali ini Ia menatap layar laptop yang sedari tadi menyala di depannya, memperhatikan dengan seksama sejumlah pesan berisi ucapan selamat ulang tahunnya yang ke-19 yang didapatkannya pada malam itu. Beberapa detik kemudian Ia kembali membenamkan wajahnya.
“ulang tahun ya?” ucap gadis itu ragu.
Sedetik kemudian gadis itu mengangkat kepalanya lagi, merapatkan bibirnya, lalu menerawang lurus ke depan, mengingat-ngingat apa yang telah dilakukannya selama 19 tahun masa hidupnya. Masa-masa yang melelahkan hati dan pikirannya, masa-masa yang membuat harus meneteskan air mata berkali-kali, masa-masa-masa yang membuatnya harus merasakan pahitnya kehidupan yang dimilikinya, masa-masa dimana Ia melupakan keberadaan dirinya sendiri, masa-masa dimana tidak ada lagi orang yang bisa dipercayai dan dimintai pertolongan kecuali dirinya sendiri, dan masa-masa kehilangan arah dan tidak tahu harus kemana lagi.
Tanpa terasa pelupuk mata gadis itu tergenang, tetesan air matanya tumpah begitu saja di kedua pipinya. Isakan tangisnya berubah histeris. Ia sadar betapa Ia selalu berusaha melupakan kejadian di masa lalu yang membuatnya tidak bisa menerima kenyataan, betapa Ia tidak bisa melakukan hal yang semestinya bisa dilakukannya, betapa Ia tidak pernah menggunakan kesempatannya sebaik mungkin, betapa besar banyak kesalahan yang pernah dilakukannnya, betapa Ia tidak berdaya dalam menyelesaikan berbagai masalah, dan betapa besar dosa yang pernah dilakukannya.
Ia menangis, tidak kuat menanggung semua hal yang membebani hatinya, sedetik kemudian Ia mengangkat tangannya, mencurahkan segala kegelisahan hati dan beban pikirannya kepada sang khalik.
Betapa Ia ingin Allah SWT memaafkannya, memaafkan segala perbuatan dosa dan kesalahan yang dilakukannya selama 19 tahun masa hidupnya. Betapa Ia ingin agar Allah SWT selalu menemaninya di setiap langkahnya. Betapa Ia ingin agar Allah SWT selalu memeluknya sehingga Ia tidak akan pernah tersesat bahkan melakukan hal yang tidak semestinya dilakukannya. Betapa Ia ingin agar Ia menginginkan cinta-Nya dan mencintai-Nya melebihi cintanya kepada dunia yang fana, dunia dimana Ia berada saat ini.
Tangisan gadis itu bertambah besar ketika Ia mengingat-ngingat kehidupannya selama 19 tahun ini. Betapa banyak dan besarnya kasih sayang Allah yang telah didapatkannya. Betapa ridho-Nya Allah mengasihinya di setiap waktu. Betapa baik-Nya kemualian Allah di sisi gadis itu. Betapa banyaknya hal membahagiakan yang tidak bisa diukirkan dengan kata-kata yang didapatkannya karena Allah. Betapa Ia sadar selalu berada di bawah naungan dan perlindungan-Nya. Betapa gadis itu tidak bisa hidup tanpa Allah SWT berada di sisinya menjaga dan memeliharanya sepanjang masa.
Gadis itu terus menangis. Ia merasakan kebahagian dan kesedihan dalam waktu yang bersamaan. Yang akhirnya berujung pada kata maaf yang dalam yang terucap dari bibirnya secara berulang-ulang.
“ya Allah, maafkan hamba…”
Sepanjang malam itu, gadis itu tanpa henti meminta ampunan dan kasih sayang Allah SWT di usianya yang genap 19 tahun itu, seolah-olah Ia merayakan ulang tahunnya bersama dengan tuhan yang paling dicintainya, Allah SWT.
aku terjebak dalam bingkai hatimu tak ingin pergi ku ‘kan selalu peluk senyummu sembuhkan lukamu dari perih masa lalu
tak ‘kan buatmu menangis sumpah demi apapun karena kau yang paling berharga untukmu kulakukan apapun
‘kan kusibak awan dan memegang langit akan kugunting dan kubawa untukmu hingga kelak kumati dan tak disampingmu lagi sepotong langit ini ‘kan terus menjagamu
dalam tidurmu ‘kan kunaungi mimpimu agar ceriamu selalu indahkan mimpiku kumohon padamu jangan abaikan diriku
maaf bila perhatianku berlebihan kepadamu karena kau yang paling berharga untukmu kulakukan apapun
‘kan kusibak awan dan memegang langit akan kugunting dan kubawa untukmu hingga kelak kumati dan tak disampingmu lagi sepotong langit ini ‘kan terus menjagamu
for a long time, I know there will be them that I will never know, though I try to close to them, I know I cannot do that, they already become a different world for me after all, they are so hard to be reached by my own hand. Because of that reason, I try to deny them even ignore them, but at last I realize they already become part of me.
slowly but surely, they and I cannot be separated, though they give me many meaningful things but in the same time they hurt me with smile. I know that. They try to get into my life, interfere me, confront me, when I ask why, then they smile and easily say because they love me that is why they can do that. I know that.
I want to close my eyes, that is the only thing that I can think concerning them. I know with close my eyes, I know will never see them, I know I can say easily they are just dream in my life or no more than voice in my head, then I know I can smile just by knowing that, though it is just a lie. I know it is just a lie. Beautiful lie.
Because when I open my eyes, I know someday they will be there, looking at me, waiting for my reaction, though I try my best to deny them even run from them, I know I cannot escape, I know they already handcuff me tightly, and close the door so I cannot go anywhere. At the end the only thing that I know they never want to release me.
Dear my beloved Allah SWT, I don’t need many things for my birthday present, I don’t want many things for my birthday presents, that’s why I will not beg many things for my birthday presents, the only thing that I need and I want to beg is your precious love, my beloved God.
A love that can bring endless happiness and peace feeling for all of people that I love. And because of that love, there will no longer hatred that might be existed, there will no longer pain that might be came, there will no longer people that will be hurt, there will no longer sad tears that might be fell down, there will no longer anger that might be crushed everything, there will no longer scream that full of sorrow, there will no longer accused that full of satisfied feeling, there will no longer quarrel that might be happened and destroy everything that was built laboriously even take the major happiness among all of people that I love.
To tell the truth, my beloved Allah, I am already tired with the condition that less of your precious love, I feel like I’m in a dessert without an oasis, a sea that never end, and darkness without any light. I’m dead. I’m dead inside my own body.
Because of that, dear God, no matter what happens, please don’t let this body dead, I need your love to make me still feel alive and make everything better for them, the people that I love for the most. Even I have to sacrifice my feeling, even I have to get the worst pain that ever had, and even I have to die, please, give your love light in our heart. I beg your kindness and your mercy to always give us your love for accompanying us in the rest of life to bring us to your endless happiness in this world and in that world when we meet again with you. I beg you, my beloved Allah SWT.
Finally!!! I can make this yon-koma after having such of busy weeks with a lot of competitions! Yokatta~
The story based on relationship between Frau and Gan-Gan. I tried to make the Frau's feeling towards Gan-Gan, although she's kinda afraid to admit it, she is always confuse about her own feeling. Though actually She likes Gan-Gan, and tries to get near him, but Gan-Gan seems quite not respond Frau's feeling. That's why, She always tries to close to Gan-Gan (However Frau doesn't know that Gan-Gan from Hero side). Hohohohooo, poor Frau! *slapbyFrau*
Really sorry for my beloved friend rekiouji (ganesha belongs to rekiouji) huwaaaaa~ I failed to draw Gan-Gan. Big Sorry....
I tried to make full body of my OC, Frau. I tried to color it with CG coloring way. It's kinda fun! But looks quite strange in my eyes, maybe because my coloring style just always like painting coloring. So right now I'm trying to do something new~^^ hehehe
For the pose, I wanted to make a pose where Frau is looked sleepy and need rest. So this art happened. In the story, Frau is a photo-model, so because of the long journey of fashioned show around the world. She's tired and finally can go home! Poor Frau! fufufu~
3. Frau as Little Red Riding Hood (sadist version) for Halloween Party
My Lovely Fraulein for Halloween! I have to admit that..... 1. I tried to make her with red hood as her costume (remember little red riding hood?) I tried to make her look sarcastic and cruel using that, but it seems I fail. Huhuhuuuhu.... 2. I cannot draw blood!!!! This is my fisrt time to draw blood! It's really hard!!! Sorry for make mess over here! Hhuhuhuuhuh.... For the accessories I just put pumpkin and knife, I do not why I have to put knife, I just remember SAW movies! Hhehehehe...
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About Me
UlfaShirayukiHime
19 years old. An ordinary girl with a lot of dream in her hand. International Law Student of Hasanuddin University 2010. Sweet thingy (including people, action, or things) is her weapon and her weakness in the same time. Addicted in designing, drawing, singing, anime&manga, baking cake, English debate, international moot court, human beings, and environmental issues.
